10 Things that make Spike purrrrr (for nekid_spike)

Hi all,

I just want to let you know, any place that is so enthusiastic about Spike getting naked has got my full support!  And even those clearly falsified pictures (the ones where Spike is naked with someone else) are very… um, stimulating.  Especially the ones with Angel…

Is it hot in here?

Oh!  I forgot to introduce myself – I’m Buffy.

Now, for some strange reason, randi asked me to list out 10 things that make Spike purr.  She said I’d be one of those in a position to know, which made me wonder at first, but now I see what she thought she was talking about.  (Though I’m still not sure I understand just why she was cackling like that… gave me the wig.)

So, yeah.  10 things that make Spike purr.

In some vague order…

1.  Nudity.  Mine, apparently.  I’m starting to wonder if that’s because, when I’m all naked, it’s usually a prelude to sex (which really makes him purr).  Though, you know, now that I really think about it, his own nude-ness is often purr-worthy, too… I mean, he’ll strip, and then he’ll run a hand down his chest, and over his stomach, and then even further, and I can hear this rumbling sound….

Oh, wait.  That might have been me.

2. Weapons.  I’d say it was ridiculous how happy a new weapon makes him, but… um, I’m kinda the same way.  It’s not even a penis metaphor.  Okay, this goo demon destroyed his second-best battleaxe on patrol, so I asked Giles if we could get him a new one, and when I gave it to him… wow.  His eyes lit up, and he got this happy smile, and you know how gorgeous he usually is? Multiply that by about a thousand.  He hugged me, but he still had the axe in his other hand, and he was so lucky it didn’t destroy the sofa when we…

Moving right along…

3. Books.  Have you seen this man with a book?  Propped up against the headboard, big, heavy, slightly dusty old book in his hands (not a research tome, thank God, ‘cause that’s an instant mood-killer), blue eyes focused on the world in the pages… and when his eyes get tired, sometimes he wears these glasses with thin wire frames.  Guh.  He’s like the sexiest professor on earth when he wears those.  Anyway, when I snuggle up against him while he’s reading, I can sometimes feel the buzz of his purr through his body.  It makes me all tingly.

4. Hair.  Well, for a vampire, I suppose it’s a pretty tame kind of kink.  He likes long hair.  After my shower, he’s waiting for me with brush in hand, and he’s always so gentle about it, too, no matter how bad it’s tangled.  He’ll even comb Dawnie’s hair for her without complaining.  She always has this dreamy look on her face while he’s doing it, but I think that’s ‘cause he’s purring and it’s making the bed… vibrate…

Excuse me a minute while I kill my sister…

Ahem.  Sorry ‘bout that.

5. Petting.  Geez, gutter much? Not that kind of petting!  Hair petting.  I suppose it goes along with his long-hair-on-girls thing, but on him, not us.  Whenever I run my fingers through his hair, he melts right into a big kitty.  Well, all right… it doesn’t work quite so well when he’s got all that goop in his hair, because my fingers get caught and it pulls, but right from the shower?  And, oh my God, the curls!  They so kill his Big Bad image.  I had to promise not to take pictures.

6. Nudity… no, wait, I already said that.  Oh!  Chocolate.   Contrary to popular belief, hot chocolate doesn’t warrant a purr, but most other things chocolate do.  Especially Godiva cheesecake and, of all things, Easter bunnies… though honestly? That’s got to be more about biting the heads off than anything else.

7. Getting one up on Angel.  I shouldn’t be as vastly entertained by this as I am.  Xander calls it ‘the eternal pissing contest’ like it’s beneath him, but please to note that I have to practically pry his behind off the sofa whenever Angel comes to visit, ‘cause there he sits, popcorn in hand. Anyway, Spike landed what was apparently a real zinger on Angel last time (though I still think it was really rude for Spike to call this Nina girl that.  I mean, it doesn’t matter how ugly a girl is, no one deserves to be called Fido!), because Angel got this look like he was trying to swallow his tongue or something.  When Angel left, I could hear Spike purring in satisfaction.

Right up until the point I told him that he was sleeping on the sofa.  Not that he did, of course, but sometimes, you’ve just gotta make that threat.  Darn female solidarity.

8.  Hot wings…maybe.  I think I heard him purring the last time we had spicy wings.  Hang on a sec, he’s here, let me ask...



9. Music… but it has to be the right kind of music.  I mean, if it’s the Ramones or the Pogues or the Sex Pistols (please note that I’m being good and calling them by their proper names, because if I don’t, he pouts), he’ll just kind of howl along and bang on the steering wheel or the desk or wherever he happens to be at the time.  I won’t let him listen to punk in the bathroom any more.  But I got Wills to make me a compilation of some love-sex songs – you know, the ones that are slow and sultry and just get you right down low.  When I played that?  Totally purring.

Well, until he dragged me down onto the carpet.

And, last but not least…

10.  It’s not sex! Shocking, believe me.  I know what you’re saying: But vampires are just such sexual creatures!  How can it not be sex?

Well, all right, to be completely fair, it is connected with sex. Kind of.  It’s that time after we’re done, when we’re lying all tangled together, panting in each other’s ear.  He’s got his arms around me, and I’m holding him tight, petting the back of his neck as our breathing steadies.  Then we disentangle, only to right the pillows and just curl up again.  And maybe we’ve said the words, maybe we haven’t, but just as we’re drifting off to sleep, still cuddled up together, I’ll hear him start purring.

And out of all of them?  That’s the best one. 

Whoops, gotta go before he sees I’ve let his secrets out… (but I’ll be back for more of those naughty pictures!  And what’s this about a Special Hell?  I’ll have to read that later…)