Buffy's Answers to Spike's Meme

To: TheBigBad@yahoo.com
From: ChosenGirl@lycos.com

Hi Spike,

Here’s your meme thingie, and I just should not be as fascinated by your answers as I apparently am. We are so going to be discussing that later. I’ve got a dozen Slayers in training that need just that… training, but I still took the time to answer your silly questions. You’d better appreciate this, mister.

And yes, I answered them all honestly. Sheesh. Swim in that Egyptian river for a little while and you get a reputation.

Name something that you always carry in your pocket/purse.

A stake. Duh. If I didn’t know better, I’d ask if you were a real blond. *evil grin*

Though… the stake isn’t always in my pocket.

What is one thing that you have always wanted to do but have never done?

Oh, I’ve always wanted to… wait, we did that. Hmm… how about a… nope, we did that, too. You’re making this very difficult, Spike. Grrr. Making me think is just so not allowed. I would have said to make it through a complete dinner (including dessert) at a nice restaurant without getting thrown out for having loud, obnoxious sex in the ladies, but that happened last week while you were out of town, so… I guess it’ll have to be…

Land a perfect triple loop/triple loop combo.

What? You thought this was all about you?

Have you ever wanted to be someone else? If so, who?

Oh, I don’t want to answer this. *sigh* When I was young, I wanted to be Dorothy Hamill. Then, for a little while, I wanted to be Geek!Willow… well, I guess I just wanted Geek!Willow’s brain so I didn’t have to study for math tests and could goof off a little more. After that, I kind of wanted to be Faith… except without the killing of innocents and the turning to evil and stealing my life. Um. That makes sense, right?

What do you like to do in your bathroom?

Um, what normal people do in their bathrooms? It’s just that with you around, all these… abnormal things happen. *sigh*

Though I rather like playing with the Invisible Man. *grin*

Which was your best kiss ever?

Oh, so many choices! I think I’ve got to think about it in two different ways. I would guess that the best kiss I ever gave was the first time I kissed Angel. I mean, come on! I made him vamp out.

I know you’re pouting, Spike, so just stop it. The best kiss I ever got was in an abandoned house, when I was almost asleep, curled up against a vampire who could have killed me if he’d really wanted to… except he’d just gotten done telling me why he loved me, and agreed to just hold me. He kissed the top of my head, and rubbed his cheek against my hair, and…

You make me so sappy.

If you were to have someone over to your place for a date, which music would you pick and why?

First, is it really a date? It’s not just hanging out? Because hanging out could be any kind of music, as long as we both enjoyed it and, you know, weren’t going to watch a movie or anything.

Oh, all right. It’d depend on who it was and what they liked for music. I’d like to have something that I knew they would like

Can you touch your toes?

Standing on my head.

You’re drooling. It’s unbecoming.

If you were given a pair of handcuffs, who would you cuff and why
?

Moving right along…

What? You already know the answer to that one! And it’s because ~~you~~ – that male looks completely drool-a-licious all tied up, all right? God, I am about to die of embarrassment.

What is your biggest regret and why?

Unleashing Angelus on an unsuspecting Sunnydale. Guilt-o-rama for the Slayer, especially since I had to send him to hell. But that’s just the biggest on a really big pile. And isn’t that depressing?

What is your kinkiest fantasy?

And again, next question…

Oh, come on! It doesn’t really even count as fantasy anymore, because we already did it! Unless you want me to tell you about the one I had that involved oil and these two vampires I know…

I thought so. *smirk*

Which famous person would you totally do if given the chance (or have you totally done!)?

Oh, I totally would have done Christian Slater. And, no, I’m not even going to think about admitting it, because it’s all kinds of wrong and I was so not drooling, and he was attractive anyway, and oh, God, I was so hot for Tom Cruise as Lestat.

Shoot me now.

Have you ever worn anything belonging to a member of the opposite sex?

You are just getting such a kick out of this, aren’t you. Yes, I have worn the shirts of various boyfriends after sex.

What? I wore Riley’s, too. *evil grin*

Have you ever been with a member of the same sex?

Sure, lots of times! I mean, I was just with Willow today… We were trying on shoes. *evil grin*

Oh, you mean been with. All Biblical and stuff.

Is this going to fuel some of your late night fantasies? .... Never mind. Ask a stupid question. The answer is no, regardless… but I wouldn’t mind watching you try to wrap your head around some of the fantasies I had about Faith before she was seduced by the Dark Side.

Have you ever been watched/video-taped during sex? Have you ever watched/video-taped someone else having sex?

The answer to the first one had better be an emphatic no. And the answer to the second one is a very unfortunate yes. Stupid nerd!cam.

Riley and I were done when Xander came bursting in. Definitely post-sex.

Have you ever been tied up or tied someone else up?

No, and yes, and oh, my God, you are in so much trouble… where the hell are those handcuffs?

What is your favourite pet name that you have ever been called and why? Who called you that name?

Okay, now I know you made up these questions. And Slayer definitely was not a pet name as much as a description of who and what I am.

Sweetheart. By my mother.

Where is the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?

So, would that be the balcony of the Bronze or in the front yard of my house, both of which were places where anyone could just look and see us getting our freak on?

If you were popcorn, would you be salty or sweet?

Kettle corn.

What are your top 3 kinks?

Well, let’s see. He’s gotta be room temperature, have a heart that doesn’t beat and fangs.

Oh, not that kind of kink. Hmmm. Hands… I like strong hands, with long fingers. And yeah, I guess it’s not really a kink, but I do like watching shirtless guys. A well-toned guy without his shirt, either his front or his back, watching the muscles move… hooo, yeah.

That’s three, right?

… I like the handcuffs, too, all right? You wipe that smirk off your face right now.

Do you carry anything with you in case of impromptu sexual encounters? If so, what?

God, yes. I have to. An extra pair of panties… because mine always inexplicably go missing. And a fingertip massager, because who knows if the other party will like a little extra stimulation in just the right place…

What? *innocent look*

Okay, Kink-boy, I’ll admit it, that was kind of fun. Remind me to replace the battery in the fingertip massager when you get back.

XO
Buffy