To: TheBigBad@yahoo.com

From: WiccaWoman@whitemagic.org

Hey Spike,

I got your email questions.  Some of them are kind of… raunchy, don’t you think?  I mean, not that I mind, but it’s just… answering some of them was kind of… difficult.

All right, some of them were kind of fun, too.

1. Name something that you always carry in your pocket/purse.

I’m guessing besides the obvious wallet.  Two books of matches and the pocket edition of the Joy of Spells.  All those rituals need candles, you know.

Oh, and sometimes an extra $40.  Just in case we need a hotel room.

2. What is one thing that you have always wanted to do but have never done?

Sometimes I have this fantasy… please get your mind out of the gutter, Spike.  I have this fantasy about… about you and Buffy, where you’re both in your crypt, and having a really good time, and somehow I’m there, too, watching you have a really good time, but not joining in.  Buffy notices I’m there, and invites me to join you two, so I do, because in this fantasy, I’m not at all shy or anything, I’m totally Brave Girl.  So I join you and Buffy, and we’re all really having a lot of fun, the way we never do in real life.  I get to see a side of you that I never see, and Buffy is totally relaxed and happy and giving in a way that we rarely see.  Just as I think I can’t take any more, I win the next three hands.

You had no idea I knew how to play poker, did you?

All right, maybe I was teasing you.  For real, this time – one thing I wanted to do was study with a real group of serious witches, not those girls who pretend to be Wiccas in the campus group.  My mom taught me some stuff, and I’ve picked up a lot with Willow, but I’ve never done a lot of serious study on it.  I think it would be really cool… and educational.

Or maybe I’m still teasing you. *grin*

3. Have you ever wanted to be someone else? If so, who?

I don’t think so.  I mean, I am who I am, and that’s what’s gotten me where I am now.  I love Willow very much, and I respect Buffy – most of the time, because she does have her moments – and yes, Anya embarrasses me sometimes, but I still admire how… blunt she is.

4. What do you like to do in your bathroom?

Okay, I just want to let you know that there has never been a lesbian love-fest in the Summers’ bathroom.  Think showering and applying makeup and maybe a few Willow-hugs.

However, after a particularly… invigorating spell, sometimes I do slip away into the bathroom for a little bit of affection from my battery-powered friend.

I bet you can’t tell now if I’m teasing you or not.  *grin*

5. Which was your best kiss ever?

Hmm.  The best kiss ever was the one I got from Joey Tanner when I was about 13 or so.  It was awkward and our noses bumped and I wasn’t sure if I was kissing hard enough or not, but it was still the best, because afterwards, I understood right down to my toes that I was gay.

Joey was short for Josephine, by the way.

6. If you were to have someone over to your place for a date, which music would you pick and why?

At my place for a date… presumably this date is intended to move things on in the relationship?  If that’s the case, I’d have some slow music on, the kind that’s got a deep, subtle beat.  Definitely a variety of love songs, too.

If it’s not a relationship-moving date, I’d still say something soft, like Loreena McKennit, or, if it’s just hanging out, maybe Cherish the Ladies or Medieval Baebes. 

7. Can you touch your toes?

Um, yes.  Witches are not fat and ugly.

Oh, I get it.  This was so you can imagine me touching my toes.  Well, if you’re wondering, I do not, in fact, have “Property of Willow” stamped across my ass.

8. If you were given a pair of handcuffs, who would you cuff and why?

Ask a silly question. *grin*

I’d probably cuff Xander and Buffy together.  Now, before you blow your stack, let me tell you why.  Xander would probably get over whatever teenage crush he still feels for Buffy in short order, and Buffy might see that a lot of the bad feelings in her life stem from bias and negativity from her closest friends.  I don’t see it happening, unless they’re the kind of cuffs that would stop a mad elephant, but a girl can dream.

9. What is your biggest regret and why?

I went to school the day my mother died.  I wish I’d been home, even though my Dad said it would have been painful for me.

10. What is your kinkiest fantasy?

I think you wrote this meme, Spike, because it’s got your attention deficit disorder stamped all over it.  *grin* I mean, this question right after the biggest regret?

Maybe it’s the one where Buffy and I chain you down to the bed, naked, using the strongest shackles we can find.  Then we tease you – kissing, nibbling, stroking, biting – until you’re about to lose your mind… as well as other things.  Then we leave you there and go shopping.

Is that kinky enough for you? *grin* Or would you rather imagine the hot girl-on-girl action that we could use to tease you?

Or would you rather know that my kinkiest fantasy actually involves a blindfold, chains, a can of whipped cream and a feather boa?

11. Which famous person would you totally do if given the chance (or have you totally done!)?

I would love to have had a shot at Ingrid Bergman, á la Casablanca.  Or Michelle Pfeiffer.  Meow.

12. Have you ever worn anything belonging to a member of the opposite sex?

Except for that one time I was cold and stole Donnie’s jacket because he was playing ball, no, not that I can recall.

13. Have you ever been with a member of the same sex?

*rotfl*!!

Oh, sweetie!  I think it’d be better if you asked if I’ve ever been with a member of the opposite sex!

14. Have you ever been watched/video-taped during sex? Have you ever watched/video-taped someone else having sex?

No, I think I’ve successfully avoided the embarrassment that both of those scenarios would cause… unlike some of us. *grin*

15. Have you ever been tied up or tied someone else up?

Yes, and yes.  And there were cherries involved, too.

16. What is your favourite pet name that you have ever been called and why? Who called you that name?

I guess that’d be Willow… and whatever she calls me.  I’m not sure if it’s a pet name, but she often screams out “Goddess!” when we’re having sex.

Spike, you might want to wipe your mouth, you’re drooling like Xander. *grin*

17. Where is the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?

You mean, aside from under the bleachers at USCSunnydale, while the basketball team was playing the championship game?  Gosh, I can’t think of anyplace crazy…

18. If you were popcorn, would you be salty or sweet?

I don’t know… I think most of the time, I’d be sweet, but then there are times I’d want to be… salty.

19. What are your top 3 kinks?

Hey, didn’t we already kind of cover that with the kinky fantasy bit?  You’re not being very creative, Spike, I’m surprised at you.

I have to say chanting can be a turn-on.  And pom-poms, though that might be because I had a huge crush on one of the cheerleaders in high school.  And candles. *grin*

20. Do you carry anything with you in case of impromptu sexual encounters? If so, what?

Some of us can control ourselves, you know.

And some of us can’t.  I always carry lipstick, a Tide pen and a little pack of moist towelettes.  You know.  Just in case.

Oh, that was fun.  I hope you thought so, too! *grin*

I’m not going to apologize for teasing you, either.  *wink*

Later, sweetie!
Tara